Sunday, September 12, 2010

30 days of letters, Day 20: The one that broke your heart the hardest

I'm Not writing this one.

Instead we'll have an explanation.

I've had my heart broken a lot. By a lot of people. I fall in love easily. Love is a wonderful and amazing thing. I love love. I love the way I feel when I'm in love.

And some relationships ended more naturally, and comfortably. A mutual agreement that we didn't work as a pair.

Some of my lovers left me with big aching wounds in my heart. Where I cried for days, weeks, even months.

That said: I don't feel regret or remorse. Each left behind love taught me something about myself. Each experience taught me something new about love and heart ache.

I was fortunate to find my forever love in my husband. I'm fortunate in that I truly believe that my last bad relationship is behind me.

But little things have broken my heart. My last big heartbreak was actually the first day my youngest daughter attended school. Realizing that my baby was growing up, that I would never have another baby, that my days of babies were behind me. That broke my heart as surely as any past love.

I was a fully realized adult.

I think the day my elder daughter starts collage will come with the same ache. Each time Big change comes it comes with the broken heart of what once was. What is being left behind.

But each ache is followed by growth and positive change.

So, I don't regret my heart breaks. And there's no one to write a letter to today.

Just a blog entry about heart ache.

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