Saturday, November 3, 2012

NaNoJourMo Satyr day ;)

The topic deluxe of the day is weight, weight management, feeling fat, feeling ugly, all my myriad insecurities, and fun food issues.

Hey kids! Guess what? I am signing up for a fitness and weight loss course. Over a total of twelve sessions, one session three times a week, I'll be seeing a personal trainer! I told you we'd get into me tackling my weight along with me tackling my word count.

It's confession time. I currently weight somewhere over one hundred and sixty pounds. I can't tell you how much over because my current scale is crap and hidden in my bathroom. Part of this challenge will be getting a NEW SCALE! YAY! I really need a good scale.

So. I'm excited, I'm nervous, but I'm hoping this will help. I go and sign up and give the gym my money and they give me a session with a small group of ladies starting this Monday at four pm.

I have hope. I have a weight goal of roughly one hundred and thirty five pounds. I would be perfectly happy at one hundred and forty to one hundred and fifty pounds. I just need to shed a bit of this extra. I know my current weight is no where near as unhealthy as it once was, however I FEEL uncomfortable in my body. I feel fat and ugly and horrible. I've noticed that I get winded easier. Movement is harder. Stretching is uncomfortable. I know this is not where I want to be. I want to feel GOOD in my body regardless what the number on the scale is. I don't currently feel good in my body. I feel WRONG. Just absolutely wrong.

I'm hoping these personal fitness sessions will help.

I also seriously need to sit down with myself and make some serious decisions concerning food. I know that currently my diet is not absolutely horrible, but it certainly could improve by a LOT.

I need to up my liquid intake. I plan on doing this by brewing then refrigerating green tea sweetened with a little honey and flavored with citrus flavors. Green tea has a nice caffeine boost, along with lots of body positive stuff. Honey is one of the few sweeteners I can think of that is not proven to be terrible for me. Citrus gives me a boost of vitamin C and has a nice pleasant "sunny" taste that makes me think of summer, warm weather, and happier times.

I'm also going to reduce my intake of my beloved coke zero. It may not have any bad calories, but I think the artificial sweetener may be causing me to crave real sweets.

There will be absolutely no change in crystal light. Even though it's not the best for me it flavors bland water into something I want to drink three times a day. Drinking liquid is GOOD, so crystal light is also good.

Food wise. Oh dear. I've been naughty about adding in a lot of sugar and fat. I stopped buying chips but now bad for me food is sneaking in as gummy candies, chocolates, and other nasty diet betrayers. Cheese is staying, I don't eat much bread so that's going to stay the same.

Meats, also the same. I really need to focus in on eating more veggies and a few fruits. This has always been hard for me. My surgically altered tummy has a hard time with most veggies. I can fix this by steaming them. Even steaming takes out some of the good for me stuff, but as long as my tummy allows it past it's good stuff.

The other hard part of changing up my diet isn't the change itself, but the temptations. I can resist buying naughty things for myself at the market. My husband and underweight daughter both require snacks to take to work and school. Snacks for when they get home. These snacks provide THEM with much needed calories. However, the temptation to take one of their yummy snacks is very hard to resist  Especially at about eleven when I'm staying up far too late then I should. I can work on this. I hope I can succeed  Food has always been my weak point. Laziness is bad enough, but my sweet tooth is my worst feature.

I have a lot of hope for this. I'll be posting on the routine and what I am getting from it as things progress. Talking through it adds to my word count (YAY!) and keeps me honest with myself and you humble reader.

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