30 days of letters. Day 1.

The first letter of this project is to my best friend. I THOUGHT I had a best friend, recently. But I am no longer sure. However: Until recently he WAS my best friend and he deserves a note.

Dear best friend,

You will always be my favorite bar tender. Death by chocolate martini, Pearl Harbor, Oatmeal cookie. You remembered that I'm allergic to gold, but forgot that I prefer to be told the truth. You said you'd explain the situation between you and your girl. I don't think you realize that I honestly want to know. I want so much to tell you about everything that's happened while your "gag order" has been in place. I'd like to give you a quick hug to thank you for introducing me to the community that I've found a comfortable foot hold in. Even if it is temporarily.

I don't just miss subtitles, you know. I miss dancing and listening to stories. It was a great span of time we had, learning about each other. I thought our kids could be friends too. I, apparently misjudged you. I thought I could trust you to stick around. I thought I could trust you to listen and care.

That trust is broken. And, after telling you about how my trust issues are OFTEN broken, I think it's especially fucked up of you to leave things like this. Why am I not saying this to your face? Because you keep blowing me off. Once. Twice. I'm going to wait a day and try one more time. Blow me off again and you're dismissed. But there will be ONE small hurt text. You made me cry "Bestie" But you made me laugh too. You're forgiven even this.

I hope your life goes REALLY good. I hope there's love and joy and laughter and as little bad hurt and pain as possible. Even after this ugly little parting of ways, I acknowledge that you made part of my life much better. You opened my eyes. So, thank you. Thank you, and good bye.

~Amber