I'm great at starting. I can start a story, a dozen stories. Finishing? No. I have tried every trick. I try writing short. Story boarding, etcetc. And then it leaves. The whisp of muse, the idea that THIS one THIS story will be the one. The one I finish, the one I edit, the one I treasure. I have this delusion that not only will I finish one (i've submitted unfinished, and sketchily finished ones) I'll SUBMIT a finished one. A complete beginnning middle end story will not only happen for me, but be the one that helps make me the writer everyone seeems to believe I am.
I have the ability to create beauty. I am as sure of that as I am of breathing. But am I capable of producing (ever) a finished product? do I fear finishing anything more substansial then a poem? It's not length or substance. I find myself as comfortable with horror as I am with romance, though I'm smoopier then I like to admit with my "sweet" stories. I think it's the looking. I shouldn't look back at my story. I invariably do. Instead of pressing forward (as I should, oh I should) I dawdle and look over what I've written and inveitably all I can see is crap. The weak plot, the transparent charactors. the MANY many many spelling and gramattical mistakes.
I'm trying to conquer some of these fears by allowing myself my imperfections in blog form. by allowing myself to write myself in the moment, in my truth. Perhaps if I can forgive my mistakes, transperencies, and flaws- I can forgive those that show up in my written world. I just want to finish one.