another barely edited rambling shambling mess of a post

I am a geek, a fan girl, and a lonesome randy perv.
I have the hots for:
Two captins: Malcolm Reynolds and cap'n Jack Harkness.
Two doctors: Tennent as Doctor Who and Dr. Horrible.
One vampire (And only one, EVER) Spike.
One pod cast editors voice.
Also: A goodly portion of the cast of Criminal minds makes me squee most especially the lanky brainy boy and the very gorgous curvy computer geek girl.
I seem to have a "thing" for people who are written for girls like me. Which makes sense. Whenever I do info gathering on the players/people behind of these wonderful written folks I'm often dissapinted they don't match up. But that's to be expected. fiction is made pretty for people like me. People who live in fantasy and eat it up with a spoon. There are many a book persona I've loved/lusted after as well- but right now, mostly due to a very lonesome libido, the boob tube has me in it's grip.
The last of the David Tennent Dr. Who episodes was on Sat. And both my darling teenaged daughter and I were in tears over the loss of our (so far) favorite doctor. They always say you love your first the best- but who couldn't love Tennent as the Doctor at least a little? Funny, cute, long and lean, and he had really great hair.
Re-watching all the BTVS episodes with her, 'cause she apparently loves them so. We've reached Once more with feeling and she, like me is deeplyu enamored with Spike. His sweetness, his broken spirit, tempered by his moods. His sadisum a little later in isn't so great, and I have a feeling we're going to have to do a bit of "Skipping" more so then we already have with the adult stuff. Plus fun mother daughter chats about how a bad boy is tre' sexy but not, in the long run, any good any good at all. *Sigh* when did entertainment have to get so learnie?
Especially when all I want to do is sdrool over those gorgous cheekbones, that slim firm frame.. oh gawds that gorgous droolworthy lickable.. er.. hehe. ANYWAY
I'm also so lonesome. I've only managed to make one non-digital friend out here in the big bad "Real" world. And.. she's temporary. She's not wholly my friend nor am I wholly hers. Wer're filler for each other. She has so MANY MANY people who love and adore her- while I have only a small select few. She's gregarious where I'm generally quiet (except when I'm not). She knows how to say the right thing where I seem to always have one foot or another somewhere in the vicinity of my mouth. And yet I like her, I'd like to know her better. Waht's more I think she feels the same for me, but we hold back. I can only guess why she'd hld back with me. But I know EXACTLY why I hold back with her. Want a list? too bad! My blog!
1. I've become shy. My social graces are lacking.
2. I know I'm awkward. I giggle when I'm nervous, I twitch and I make other nervous gestures that put people off- and I know this unsettles folks so I try to stay away
3. She's gorgous and I'm afraid I'll become attracted to her.
4. She's my age, and gregarious. My friends have up to this point been older or younger. It's strange knowing someone my own age who is as outgoing as my 20 something friends were in the past
5. I'm no good at friendmaking. I've become rusty at it. I HAVE a best friend. He's just really really far away right now.
6. I'm not used to being friends with women. Almost all of my better past friendships have been with men of some sort or another. They're easier to understand then women. We;re a complicated lot.
7. Have I mentioned that she's gorgous?

So there's my list.
anyway. I need food, a tylenol and something to help me get past my ciggie craving. HAve I mentioned that I quit smoking?