Thursday, January 12, 2012

Why I am

I'd like to take a moment. To tip my hat.

When my daughter "came out of the closet" my reaction was. "Oh, cool. Ok." And we ran with it. I've always known she was a little diffrent, but I choose to allow my children to be themselves and nourish and nurture every amazing little thing about them.

I myself am, after all, a little queer.

I may not be a butch, or a lesbian, or even a very good bisexual. After all, I'm monogamous. But since my definition for queer is.. well it's just "Different from the norm" I am most assuredly quite queer.

I am this way because my father let me climb trees in dresses. My mother while not really understanding it, let me date a girl without any real fuss. My uncles and aunts, bless their crazy Irish Catholic hearts, loved me.

I am this way thanks in part to my uncle Tommy. He died quietly, still a little in the closet of double phenomena brought on by HIV. He refused treatment. He thought he deserved the disease.

I never want any person I know or meet to feel that way. Like they have to hide who they are. The only way I can do this is by lving loud and brave and proud of who I am and what I believe. If my beautiful queer teenage daughter can strut her amazing self down the street with her head held high, then I am doing my job right.

And, don't tell her this.. it'd swell an already overlarge ego. But damn I'm proud. I'm proud of her. I'm proud of me. And I'm a little proud of Tommy, who pulled me aside in a soft sweet hug once before he left us too soon. And said "I love you, Amber. I love you no matter who you love. You know that right?" And I said "Ditto, Tommy. Ditto"


  1. I wonder where I was at when you posted... I was just thinking about you and you are so right about your daughter... that is the best thing you can give her, your unconditional acceptance of who she is and continued unconditional love..!

    Take care and be well..!


  2. You are such a great Mama Bug! ♥