Thursday, January 5, 2012

My requirements in a minion (Goofy time writing)

There may well be a reason I don't have a minion, or minions.

My requirement list is just silly stupid long. My Man servant (lady servant? Whatever) Must:

  • Be capable of prepping me easy to digest nutritious foods that make me make happy numming noises.
  • Have a perfect cup of coffee ready when ever I require it.
  • Have knowledge of a nearly inexhaustible supply of interesting movies, music, comics, and stories at any given time for when I am bored.
  • Be able to act surprised and excited when I suggest that we watch (read, listen to) one of my favorites (again)
  • Be attractive to the eye without being so pretty it's distracting
  • be quick of wit and deft of hand
  • give PERFECT back rubs
  • give the kind of foot rubs that make people cry with joy
  • LIKE traveling interesting places
  • Be a good driver
  • ENJOY going or car rides
  • Like it when *I* drive
  • Like going out dancing
  • Be a good patient teacher
  • Be a good listener
  • Be a creative conversationalist
  • Say I'm Pretty often AND mean it!
  • be somewhat skilled with the care and management of children, pets, and houseplants
  • have access to any weapons,agencies, equipment I may need at any given time for a plan
  • Always have a way of getting us out of any trouble I manage to get us into
  • know how to procure ice crushed the way I like it
  • be willing to go clothes shopping with me AND capable of helping me find things that Fit and Flatter! BY GODS!
  • look cute in light blue.

So.. there's some of them.. The many reasons I don't have a minion or legion of them. This person (persons?) does not exist. and if they did? There's no way in the Blue Hades they'd work for me, especially since I pay in cheese and hugs.


  1. LOL... do you Facebook..? If you do, there aren't too many cats with my name and an Iron Man picture in Omaha ... look a cat up..!

  2. Seems perfectly reasonable to me, but what do I know?

  3. Mark: I do have facebook. Amber MacArthur. It might take me a bit to look you up since every time I go over there I sift through stuff my weird family sends me. :)

    Skinner: It seems reasonable to me too, and yet I am minion less.