But I'm upset too. I had for force the bit of my trip that worked to work. It cost us too much, and we did very little other then see the eiffel tower. It was ruined by my spouses inability to follow directions and my impatience with him. I made the day worthwhile. I suppose. But apparently me feeling pretty makes him grumpy. And him driving like an asshole and talking about how "stupid" France is makes me grumpy pants. When we go out if I don't force a smile every moment he throws a tantrum. I'm tired of pretending to be happy. ok? I'm exhausted. I can't imagine the rest of my life with someone who hates everything so. damn. much. And..
I don't know. I'm depressed. My mail is delayed by 5 days now. My life is BORING! I can't do school except online. I miss class rooms. I miss having friends. I miss hugs and discussions. I miss..
I feel like coming out here was a bad decision. Like pushing him to go to Korea as a bad decision. Like.. everything I've DONE! except switch to vaping has been a bad decision.
I need a real flesh and blood and HERE! Right the FUCK here so I can have a hug.. friend.
I don't know if I can take another two and a half years of this shit.