Shedding a little light.

So as to manic up this emo party..

I'm hanging a disco ball.

I'm tossing around a bit of glitter.

Be the change..

Be. The. Change.

I CAN.

hello

Ah! Depression! My old "friend" I had so hoped you'd gone away for the season. But I see you were there, just waiting to sneak up on me. Just biding your time. My daughter will be getting the Paris trip I *Wanted* to have for my anniversary, for a school trip. And I'm VERY VERY happy for her. This is the kind of memory no amount of money can buy. She'll have so. much. fun.

But I'm upset too. I had for force the bit of my trip that worked to work. It cost us too much, and we did very little other then see the eiffel tower. It was ruined by my spouses inability to follow directions and my impatience with him. I made the day worthwhile. I suppose. But apparently me feeling pretty makes him grumpy. And him driving like an asshole and talking about how "stupid" France is makes me grumpy pants. When we go out if I don't force a smile every moment he throws a tantrum. I'm tired of pretending to be happy. ok? I'm exhausted. I can't imagine the rest of my life with someone who hates everything so. damn. much. And..

I don't know. I'm depressed. My mail is delayed by 5 days now. My life is BORING! I can't do school except online. I miss class rooms. I miss having friends. I miss hugs and discussions. I miss..

everything.

I feel like coming out here was a bad decision. Like pushing him to go to Korea as a bad decision. Like.. everything I've DONE! except switch to vaping has been a bad decision.

Fuck.

I need a real flesh and blood and HERE! Right the FUCK here so I can have a hug.. friend.

I don't know if I can take another two and a half years of this shit.

The following is a poll for the members of my Vape community. I've been making crochet bottle cozies for them. I'd like to have a good amount made ahead and set aside. To do that right I'd like to know the most popular color choices. Pleas eonly vote once. Please only vote if you're interested in helping. Thanks!!

~Bug

Coozy color choices
	Black
	White
	Green
	Blue
	Red
	Yellow
	Purple
	Pink
	Gray
	Tan
	Multi color
	Other
pollcode.com free polls

Wanton Wednesday

Wonton Wednesday: Stretching in sunlight. I'm learning to embrace my body. I have a wide set of hip, and rather large thighs. I hide these in skirts and tights. But lately I've been getting positive comments on my figure.. so. For this weeks WW I'm Embracing the pretty that is my figure silhouetted against German grass and sunlight.

I've learned

I can't control the way the world works. It just works. It refuses to do my bidding. And that's okay. Life keeps surprising me. New friends, new ways of tilting my head.. new perspective.

I'm nervous right now. There are some decisions I've been delaying that I've decided on. I just need to take that net step. And.. here goes...

nothing.